On Wednesday, September 6, I attended our regular Alzheimer’s support group meeting at the Kirk in the Hills in Bloomfield Hills. I liked one of the handouts on “Ten Absolutes” that I would like to share.
ABSOLUTELY NEVER
| Argue |
Instead |
Agree |
| Reason |
Instead |
Divert |
| Shame |
Instead |
Distract |
| Lecture |
Instead |
Reassure |
| Say “Remember’ |
Instead |
Reminisce |
| Say “I Told You” |
Instead |
Repeat or Regroup |
| Say “You Can’t” |
Instead |
Do What You Can |
| Command or Demand |
Instead |
Ask or Model |
| Condescend |
Instead |
Encourage or Repeat |
| Force |
Instead |
Reinforce |
As Sumi’s caregiver, I have to constantly remind myself to practice these 10 absolutes. These 10 Absolutes, compliment the poem below that I had shared earlier.
Do not ask me to remember.
Don’t try to make me understand.
Let me rest and know you are with me.
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
I’m confused beyond your concept.
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you.
To be with me at all cost.
Do not lose your patience with me.
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can’t help the way I am acting.
Can’t be different ‘though I try.
Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone.
Please don’t fail to stand beside me,
Love me ‘till …...
- Author Unknown
- From “Coach Broyles’ Playbook for Alzheimer’s Caregivers”