Absolutely Never, Instead…..

Saturday, September 16, 2017, 9:20 pm EDST, 66°F (19°C) Clear night
On Wednesday, September 6, I attended our regular Alzheimer’s support group meeting at the Kirk in the Hills in Bloomfield Hills. I liked one of the handouts on “Ten Absolutes” that I would like to share.
Argue Instead Agree
Reason Instead Divert
Shame Instead Distract
Lecture Instead Reassure
Say “Remember’ Instead Reminisce
Say “I Told You” Instead Repeat or Regroup
Say “You Can’t” Instead Do What You Can
Command or Demand Instead Ask or Model
Condescend Instead Encourage or Repeat
Force Instead Reinforce
As Sumi’s caregiver, I have to constantly remind myself to practice these 10 absolutes. These 10 Absolutes, compliment the poem below that I had shared earlier.
Do not ask me to remember.
Don’t try to make me understand.
Let me rest and know you are with me.
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
I’m confused beyond your concept.
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you.
To be with me at all cost.
Do not lose your patience with me.
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can’t help the way I am acting.
Can’t be different ‘though I try.
Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone.
Please don’t fail to stand beside me,
Love me ‘till …...

                                                               - Author Unknown
                                                               - From “Coach Broyles’ Playbook for Alzheimer’s Caregivers”